remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize