I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Less talking, more tequila
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
