Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
