I like my sex mixed with concussions.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He did a backflip because drugs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
