who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
