omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
