his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
