No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
