Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
