would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
