Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
