we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
