so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
