DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
