I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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