It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
