She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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