Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
