it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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