you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize