Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
