When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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