I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
