The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
