so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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