Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm jealous of your bromance
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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