In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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