Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
