Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
