break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
