ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
