i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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