So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
