No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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