belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
