I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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