Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
