he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
