The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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