from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
