Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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