you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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