All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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