Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
