i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
