he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
