Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
