so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
