I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
