I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
