Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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