i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
