I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
