what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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