You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
