I hate all girls vehemently.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
