The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
