is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
