You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize