Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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