May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
